Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Little Perspective

On Tuesday of this week I had one of those woe-is-me days.  I had planned on getting my weekly speed workout in early morning so it would be done with.  I really do prefer working out in the morning because I find that otherwise life gets in the way and there is always a happy hour something more important that needs to be done.  Monday I went to bed all packed for the gym the next morning and a 5:30am wake up call.   At 2:30 am I was still wide awake staring at the ceiling and stressing about things I can’t even remember now.  This happens to me about once every other month.  I just can’t sleep.  I don’t know what it is, there is no distinctive pattern. I am very thankful that it’s only ever one night, not multiple nights in a row.  Tues & Wed you could have drove a truck through my bedroom and I wouldn’t have woken up.

Needless to say at 5:30 am when the alarm went off I was not jumping out of bed. At 7:30am I zombie rolled out of bed and unpacked my work clothes/packed my gym clothes and vowed to workout after work.  Fast forward to 6pm and I am still at my desk getting through the to-do list for the day.  I went through mental game of : I am so tired, it’s already late, I won’t get home until 8 at this point, what will I have for dinner etc… Finally I decided to buck-up and get my ass to the gym.  I walked the .04 miles to the gym feeling oh so proud of myself.  Got into the locker room, stripped down and what do you know?  No sports bra! At that point it was a life-ending-moment (I am sure the time of the month and no sleep had nothing to do with this reaction).  I was so frustrated that I had actually gone to the gym and didn’t have the necessary gear, that I had not slept the night before, that I hadn’t worked out that morning – that my whole weeks running schedule was now off by a day. 

I walked the next .04 miles to the cable car in a fit of rage.  Just irritated with life and feeling very sorry for myself.  I got home and was very snappy with MFR about dinner and our apartment being messy.  Just your standard mental breakdown.   The bad mood lasted pretty much all night until the news came on and of course there was an update on Sandy Hook and the tragedy that took place last Friday.  This is the moment I realized what an a**hole I really was.  Lives were taken and parents will be spending the holidays without their children because of an evil, hateful crime.  And I am upset about missing a workout?  What the hell is wrong with me?  I think it takes days like this to realize that sweating the small stuff is just not worth it.  We all get so busy, the holidays are stressful and small hiccups seem like the end of the world.  In reality I am so lucky to have the life I do and to being able to be healthy and active is just one of my many blessings.

I got my workout in yesterday morning instead and was thankful for every step of my run.  I don’t mean to get all serious-Sally but I think it’s important to realize that everyone has days like this (and I will have many more but to put it all perspective is a necessary trait.)  Hopefully the next time I forget something or can’t sleep, I’ll remember this and go on with my day without the dramatic meltdown.  The type-A personalities that gravitate towards structured training plans and endurance sports sometimes have a hard time with being flexible but it’s so important to get through this messy life in one piece.  

It’s good to remember that usually my biggest problem can be overcome with a glass of red wine and for that I am eternally grateful. This is also a good reminder that getting a good workout in first thing can set the tone for the rest of the day.  Maybe this will also motivate me to get out of bed and get in an early workout more than once a week.  Doubtful -but maybe.

To lighten the mood, here’s my favorite picture to send to someone post marathon:

God I am an a**hole!

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