I am an idiot - OC Half Marathon 2:11:40 (10:03 pace)

When will I learn that training is apparently a crucial part to running a race? Who knew?  Oh wait, that's right....EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!  The past two weeks I've even said that this race wasn't going to be good because I hadn't been training.  Yet somewhere in my messed up brain I actually thought, "maybe, just maybe,  I can PR this race.  I mean sure I haven't ran more then 7 miles since DC (a month and a half ago) and I've taken weeks in a row off because of sickness, laziness...you name it.  But it's a nice flat course (found that not to be true), it will be nice and cool at 6am (true) and hell I broke 2 hours on a gravel hilly course - I am sure I can do it in OC."  God I am dumb sometimes.

Me: This is going be so fun, can't wait to PR! Leslie (left): Yeah good luck with that!

This race was very hard for me!  It was apparent within the first two miles that my lack of training was going to hurt me big time. I started way too fast and was sweating bullets more then normal.  Even though it was perfect race conditions temperature wise, I had piled on sunscreen, was over-dressed and couldn't catch my breath which turned me into a big sweaty mess.  Still I thought that I was running "fast" but even a mile in I was worried about keeping up the pace. That right there should have been the sign that this race wasn't going to be my finest.  But again in my delusional brain there was still hope for a PR.  I ticked off the first five miles getting slower and slower. It wasn't until around mile 6 that I looked at my watch and realized just how slow I had been going.  I thought I was running so much faster then I was; I am assuming because I am out of shape and hadn't trained at all so my normal pace felt like I was running uber fast because it was so damn hard.  As I was looking at my watch at this point and trying to calculate just how close to 2 hours I was, the 2:10 pace group went flying by me.  "Oh!  I guess I am not even in the vicinity of 2 hours so I can stop trying to calculate that."

It was at this point I realized that I could just take it really easy like Vegas and walk/run the 2nd half of the race or I could keep up my lame pace but try to finish as strong as possible.  I opted for that latter because I didn't want the whole race to be a bust and I am over giving up on myself.  In retrospect now I am actually pretty proud of my time, I had to work hard for that 2:11.  I walked a few aid stations but kept running the rest of the time until another mindf*** came flying by me around mile 9...her name is Leslie.  All of sudden I hear, "ummm friend, excuse me but what the f are you doing?"  Considering I had told her I was hoping to PR she knew I was nowhere close.  On the other hand Leslie was having the race of her life.  We chatted for maybe half a mile (i.e. she talked and I tried not to die)  and then we hit an aid station and that was it.  We both stopped for water and when she started up again, I just couldn't.

The funny thing was, a week prior we were doing a 5 mile training run (my first run in two weeks) and  talking about my lack of training and Leslie actually said, "well good maybe I can actually beat you on this race."  I laughed and said, "I don't think so."  I told you...DELUSIONAL.  I don't know why I think I am the exception to the rule.  Any who, beat me she did, with a 3 min PR (2:08).  I am very proud, she killed that course and will probably have a pretty good chance of beating me again in Portland unless I can work some magic these next two weeks.

I ended up slugging out those last four miles, only walking the hills.  All in all I am proud I didn't totally give up and still felt fairly accomplished crossing the finish line.  One funny thing I noticed was the comments that the spectators yelled out and how I processed them.  One guy yelled, "pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever" and that got me to keep running in the last mile when I really wanted to walk.  Another little girl yelled, "you've worked so hard for this moment, finish strong" which I am pretty sure slowed me down because all I was thinking was "no I didn't, I didn't work for this at all, I didn't even try." Maybe I shouldn't take my self loathing out on innocent children:)

Once again we'll call this race a lesson learned!  The question will be if it motivates me or just makes it so I continue this vicious cycle of not training and not learning.  Stay tuned.

Kill me now!

Splits:

5 Km:	29:35 Pace: 9:32
10 Km:	1:00:41 Pace: 9:46
7.5 Mi:	1:14:24 Pace: 9:56