This is a breakup that's been a long time coming. We've had 30 great years together and it's been an unhealthy relationship for the majority of that time. It's not your fault it's mine. I neglected all the signs and refused to admit that I didn't feel right when we spent time together. I was blinded by my love for you.
I am of course talking to cheese, the love of my life. I love every kind of cheese, especially with wine. I am the person who would eat mac n' cheese every day if I had the choice. It's what I snack on when I get home, it's what I am drawn to first on a menu and I rarely make a dish that is not very cheese-tastic. Once when I was on a business trip to Paris, I stayed in a hotel that had a 360 degree restaurant on the top floor that served over 400 types of cheese, it was the best night!
For the last couple years, I've had and inkling that I may be a tad lactose intolerant. Meaning, I went to bed every night with a major cramping stomach ache, to the point where I was almost crying in pain. Denial is a powerful weapon; I didn't care because I wasn't willing to give it up. So finally, I decided for my New Years resolution to give up cheese for 30 days. Then if it makes a difference, I'll reevaluate after 30 days and hopefully phase back in some cheese (goat, cottage etc....)
Day one I felt better, I mean way better. I made it 9 days with absolutely no cheese and I can't tell you what a difference it made. I felt lighter, better skin etc... but I still didn't want to admit it. So last night I made one of MFR's favorite dishes and found what I thought was a way to substitute cheese in the pasta. But then I got to the turkey meatballs and realized I didn't have anything to substitute the parmesan and ricotta. I figured, what the hell, it's a meatball for god sakes, that doesn't really count. This would be my test. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say I couldn't sleep I was in so much pain. So yeah, cheese and I are breaking up! Technically I am also "allergic" to hops and sulfites but you better believe I'd never give up beer or wine (what would I drink? Water? Please!) so this can be the one thing I do to listen my body and try to feel better.
I am not going to say that we won't have some awkward sex-with-the-ex one night stands when I get sad and hungry but overall it's time to quit you. I have to grow up and actually take care of myself. I may need to seek a support group for others who have had to give up their true loves.
I'll miss you more then you know!